Haunt of Fear!

Well, it’s “official” Spideys in the black suit. Does this mean Venom is a villain this time? Hell, it sort of has to. Without getting to deep into Spider-Man legend, if there is a black suit, it has to lead to Venom.
Now, as we’ve mentioned before, i’m a simple man. The love of a good woman and a piece of land to work and call my own…that’s all I want. But, I WANT TO SEE VENOM ON THE BIG SCREEN! You don’t get it, it’s my Frodo, my Starship Enterprise. Every nerd’s got his Holy Grail, and this is it until I get to be the guy deciding what goes up on that damn movin’ picture screen.
So, I’m working on lounge act now, and making the coffee, and going home alone, and drinking in the dark….just waiting…waiting…soon, my precious….soon…

BRAIIINNNSSSS!!!!!

Okay, I’m off to work.

Last night was very good. We met with the make-up girl and Costume misstress, and they are very excited about my silly little flick.
I’ll tell you, even though everytihing so far has gone pretty easy for us on this project, there are the occasional hard moments. Not hiring people you know are going to take it harder than they should…
not having all the cash you wish you had… People copping out at the last minute… again, there are concessions to be made, and all said and done, we’ve only been slightly pissed off as of yet. No real blow outs or blow ups.
Anyway, this is just a little update on all things lounge. all is well. soon, we’ll have our first cast read through, and that will rock!
Don’t wory, folks (is anybody actually reading this?) there will be real movie news soon…
but until then, the best!
BEST LYRIC: “Bustin’ makes me feel good!” Ray parker Jr., Ghostbusters
BEST CANDY: “Lik-M-Aid”
BEST HOTDOG(SOUTHERN) Dino’s
BEST BODYPART (WOMAN) Small of back
BEST TRANSFORMER I NEVER OWNED: Unicron (close second, Omega Supreme)
BEST ROBOT: Bender
BEST MOVIE LINE BY TRAVOLTA: “Yeah, ain’t it cool!?” Broken Arrow (close second, “You’re not having any fun!” Face-Off)

Alright, i’ve wasted enough of your time. Back to it!
p.s. click on the picture!

I’m really hating the weather in the heart of dixie right now. It’s cold and rainy one week, and nice and sunny the next. Pick one! It’s a wonder I don’t have the super flu!
Tonight I’m meeting with the costume mistress to give her an idea of what I’m looking for on theis flick. Should be interesting. We have a costume mistress. And a make up girl. What?
When your movie costs less than a used Camry, there are consessions that have to be made. But everything is moving at a fairly decent clip. amd the producers on this thing are pulling a lot of miracles out of the ether. As far as locations go, there were a few that i was worried would be next to impossible, but they all went through hitchless.
Soon, we’ll be having our first full cast read through, and from what I can tell so far, we are gonna have a kick ass ensemble. Everyone is excited and ready to work. Their really starting to change my views on converting all films to CG. Ona side note, I was a bit surprised at the turn out during auditions. we saw a lot of people. the worst thing is when you see someone that rocks, but you just don’t have a spot for them. but what was surprising was who we didn’t see. there were a lot of people who act locally that we just didn’t see. And there were probably good reasons from it’s not something they were interested in down to they just didn’t want to do it, but these opportunities do NOT come this way often. Oh well.
April first is so close. I’ll keep you knuckle nuts posted on the fun…
Crooked rain, crooked rain…

You know, you have to admire Woody Allen. after his early career of genre bending comedic treasures, he managed to make movies for nearly 20 years where he simply played himself in crazy relationships that had us all going “Hey, why do these women put up with this guy!?” and “Hey, that girl is too hot to put up with this guy!” But you know what? Stranger things have happened. Visit your local comic shop. Chances are, you’ll find some Twizzler-fueled nerd with his hot girlfriend in tow, patiently watching him play Magic the Gathering until her man needs another can of Tab.
And while my goal is NOT to become the next Woody Allen, (or the Black Woody Allen, as some clever local indy paper editor will more than likely dub me…because I’m BLACK!) I do have plenty of screwy relationship vaults just waiting to be mined and applied to whatever well-rounded, flawed character I happen to be writing about at the time. But I don’t want to be the guy who makes a career out of it.
I want to make big, giant summer movies with cool girls swinging cars at giant squids. I want to make Crime procedural dramas starring Ethan Hawk and Willem Dafoe. I want to make cowboy movies, and ghost stories. I want to do it all. But, as it stands, the easiest way to burst onto this independent film scene is to make small character pieces about, well, people talking. They say write what you know, and since all I know is getting dumped by M.R.F.s and epic battles, and epic battles are outside my current budget, well…here we are.
As a writer, i have to be okay with being totally free when it comes to my life, and the lives that spiral into mine own. As I’ve often said, if you don’t want to be famous for sucking, don’t piss off a writer. So, here we are. My attempt to give a little back. These are some things that I’ve learned over the years, and they will almost definately end up on the screen. Soon. Do as i say, not as i have done… Trust me.

DO NOT tell someone she is your muse. Especially if you mean it. She will eventually flip out, and use it as an excuse to treat you like Corky Thatcher.

DO NOT give away things that are close to your heart to the person you love. It may seem cynical, but when and if things go down the tubes, you won’t get them back. If you have to show your love through material possesions, buy flowers. Eventually, they will die. Your only copy of A Boy Named Charlie Brown on vhs will live on forever under that tricks bed.

DO NOT sell your possesions to to lighten your personal load AT LEAST until after there is a lease, some written agreement, something proving that you are actually moving in together. I’ll see you agin someday, volumes 1-3 of Futurama…
PLEASE LISTEN if someone tells you that they are used goods, and you should stay away. Guess what? They will lie to you about lots of things, but NEVER this. And no, you ain’t gonna save them.
side note: I Love Forrest Gump. I saw it on the same day as i saw Natural born Killers, so it has cemented it’s place in my head as a moral barrometer, and damn it, it’s just sweet. Once, after being rejected by my love of the moment, I managed to watch it 6 times in a row. I always lose it when Lil’ Forrset gets on the bus.
Anyway, back to fixing crazy girls. Forrest loved jenny. He loved her and he was willing to wait for her. while she went out into the world and slept around, he waited. While she drugged it up and spiraled out of control, he waited. and eventually, when she’d finally hit bottom, she returned to him. jenny did, his one true love. On the other hand, he was retarded and she had aids. Don’t be a Forrest. Let that crazy dame GO! and finally,

FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES EVER, DO NOT drink a bottle of Absolut Pepar and call up your ex-girlfriend’s mother. She may actually show up… sigh. They were so similar in so many ways… gag…

So, Woody my jewish pal, I admire you. But I couldn’t do it for an entire career. not when there are alien menaces to be thrust onto the silver screen. And who’s gonna stop them?
Nicho-muthafuckin’-las CAGE, fools! I’ll se your sexy ass in a few years. Don’t retire!
Well, Out for now. Dude, I’m gettin’ a Dell…

Let me give you a little insight on the frenzied brain of a writer. A very brief insight…
Last night, before bed, I ate a quarter of a Rocky’s Pizza Muffulata(sp?), watched futurama, and drifted off to painfully lonely sleep. I dreamt my own ending to Arrested Development which involved George Michael running away with Maybe to elope, and then being run off the road by swedish enviromentalists. Then I woke up.
Now, all that was a silly, Final Destination-like turn of events that led to a seedling of an idea to go into my next picture. Here it is, for some of you, the first time, the idea for my next picture. Try to follow the path, I move fast…
One day while walking along, I found some hippie’s car that had two bumper stickers on the rear: “Fur is Murder” and “Pro-Choice”. What!? This is the same as private Joker’s helmut reading “Born to kill”, then sporting a peace sign!
I brought it up to a few people, the fact that I can kill babies, as long as I don’t wear ‘em (sorry, harsh, but to the point) and most saw that point. One girl asked if that was any worse than people that are Pro-life, and Pro death penalty. No. because 1) there has been no american case of babies being put to death (at least by capitol punishment) and 2) if you touch a baby the wrong way, other than to show it love and hug it…CHAIR!
Let me state here, that I am not getting all political on you. I love to play Devil’s advocate, almost on a subconscience level. it’s how I work on the page. Hell, for all I care, America should be ruled by a triumverant of Child driven mechanized exoskeletons.
Anyway, all this talk eventually shifted to Vegans. Damn it. Got nothing against them, don’t care. More steak for me. But the whole veggie-meat thing bothers me. Veggie hot dogs? What?
Look, if you have a moral opposition to animals being killed to serve as food, fine. More power to you. But how the hell can you turn around and eat veggie bacon!?
EXAMPLE: Damn, racism is horrible in America. So many black men perecuted, even killed…Still, I love the taste of Nigga…Can I get some of that imitation Nigga, please? MMM, Kids come running for the great taste!
You see my point.
So, on to the movie-
The People Person is the story of a man who kidnaps people from cults and radical religious sects, deprograms then then returns them to their families. His home life, though, is lonely, and he keep’s logs of all his thoughts because he believes that any negative thought he has should be purged , so he can have a good day.
Well, one day he loses thiese books of radical rants and stories about his life, and slowly but surely, begins to grow and underground following based on his “Teachings”. Eventually, his folowwers have to be deprogrammed…Swedish enviromentalists play a huge part in that… But I don’t want to give it away…
There is is, the beginning of my next thing. Now, i guess, it’s off to finish the current thing.
Thanks for hanging out.
All-beef dogs 4EVER!

Ahh, Valentines Day. The day set up by the white man to remind me that I am FOVERER ALONE! Imagine being told by your boss at your favorite job that you were too good of an employee to pay, so instead, boss keeps hiring losers who steal from her and occasionally hits her. Such is my lot in love. It’s hard to be employee of the month when the turnover is so great…
My taste in women varies from Attractive psychos with Daddy problems to, well, mildly attractive psychos with Daddy problems. Sigh. But this is a day to celebrate all love, not just the misinturpreted codependant clinings of the walking dead.
So in an attempt to keep thins positive, I will here, now, briefly list the things/people that I love.
I love my parents. I have seen lots of kids come from familys of pure evil, and my parents occasional poverty and stints of confussion are like a walk in the park compared to what some kids get raised up in. The one constant? They’ve always wanted the best for me and my siblings (And I don’t mean material wise).
I love Netflix. I mean, come on! it’s like- come on!
I love my job. sure, I only work 32 hours a week, and theres a creepy Jethro Bodine like jewish guy with a creepy crush on me, but I love working at Lucy’s Coffee and Tea. The customers rock, the girls I work with rock, I get to eat for free, and ….HOT DOCTOR CHICKS! oh…oh, God…
I love Futurama. Some people think that family Guy is the second coming, but these ppeople are what we in the business like to call the LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR. Sure, we need these guys, or else quality landfill like American idol or Cheaters would get cancelled. But for my animation dollar, fox made a huge mistake when it dropped Futurama! The show was silly, yes, but it had a storyline so secretly complex, that Matt Goening admitted that characters for the continuation of the plotlines hadn’t even been introduced yet! Wow. Sure, it’s funny when Peter Griffen is pronounced reterded(s i g h ) but in the immortal words of Bender Bending Rodriguiez “Bender is great!”
NOTE: apparently, the entire cast is in the studio making 4 straight to dvd movies for the end of the year. go buy the first 4 seasons, and get learned up on the planet express crew. GO NOW!
Finally, I love love. I love being in love. I thinks thats my problem. I fall for any chick that pays me the slightest bit of attention, and all I want to do is to do for her. I’m an old fashioned sucker, and I know it. I’ll never change. The secret is: you have to KNOW that all women are crazy, but you must never let yourself BELIEVE it. Sorry girls, I’m onto you.
But I’ll still kepp hloding that door open, and walking you to your car. Just promise that one day you’ll drive back…
(wow. that was sappy. sorry. guys.)

Happy Valumtimes Day!

The title of this post is NOT an Emeril ref., but a Public Enemy Ref. You sould know that…

Anyway, here is my little piece of the Blogosphere detailing my foray into the wonderful world of supr-indy filmaking. As of today, muy first film, Lounge Act, has been cast, funded, budgeted, and we begin filmimg on April first.

What is the movie about? Short answer: It is a passive aggressive love letter to any dame that’s riden me into depression. Longer answer? it’s a semi-autobiographical tale of two men who chosse quantity over quality when seeking out love, and how one mans journey to true love is hindered by his reluctance to grwo up. Wow, I’m deep! anyway, it’s not as depressing as it sounds. I’ve created new and ambitious ways to say “Fuck”, and I think I’ve created some pretty endearing characters, as well.

I hope to do two things on this blizzog:
1. Talk about the making of a LOWWW budgeted film as it happens, and
2. Talk abot anything else that may be clouding my mind and keeping me from concentrating on my film.

This is the dope jam.